


fixed on you

by softambrollins



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-11 00:06:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16464908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softambrollins/pseuds/softambrollins
Summary: All his life, Dean's known that eventually he would hurt everyone who loved him bad enough that they would leave for good. It's just who he is; there's something toxic in his blood, something fucked up in his head, that he can't get rid of no matter how hard he tries.But Seth's still standing here, against all odds.





	fixed on you

**Author's Note:**

> Post-[RAW October 29th.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAMEwbp2yqY)
> 
> Can these boys please, please, please just talk to each other. I'm begging.

Seth doesn't come after him like he said he would. And that's good. He needs to stop calling him out, stop demanding answers. Needs to forget about him. Dean doesn't owe him a thing. He doesn't owe any of those people a fucking thing. They don't know him. And Seth doesn't either; he never has.

He needs to get out of here, needs to get some air, needs to get far away. He heads briskly to the parking garage, but something makes him linger for a second before opening his car. And then he hears the footsteps approach, loud in the empty, echoey space. 

He turns around.

It's Seth. 

All his life, Dean's known that eventually he would hurt everyone who loved him bad enough that they would leave for good. It's just who he is; there's something toxic in his blood, something fucked up in his head, that he can't get rid of no matter how hard he tries.

But Seth's still standing here, against all odds.

He's probably still angry. He _has_ to be angry. But he doesn't look it now — he just looks utterly defeated.

He throws his hands up as he slowly, almost cautiously walks closer to him.

"I don't want to fight, Dean," he says, voice sounding distant, faint. "I just wanna talk."

Dean just eyes him up for a moment, before turning back to his car, reaching for the door handle. 

Seth grabs his arm to stop him. Then, he pulls away again before Dean can shove him away. Or worse. He retreats under Dean's glare.

"What, you wanna lie to me some more?" Dean asks him calmly. "Because that's all you know how to do, right? It's like _breathing_ to you."

Seth looks almost relieved — relieved that Dean's finally looking him in the face, saying more than two words to him. No matter what they are. 

"Dean, please, whatever's going on — just talk to me, we can get through this —" 

"You can drop the act, Seth," Dean tells him bluntly. "No one's gonna blame you for walking away after this. You're free and clear."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Seth asks, and now he looks bewildered and infuriated at the same time.

"You _know_ what I'm talking about. You don't owe me shit. I don't owe you shit. We can just walk away."

"What if I don't want that?" Seth says, his voice sounding small and fragile now.

Dean laughs mirthlessly at that. "That's _all_ you've ever wanted. All you ever do is walk away. I knew you were gonna get bored and leave again, when you were done with your whole redemption song and dance, your apology tour, proving what a stand-up guy you are, looking out for your _brothers_ —"

Dean spits it out with such venom that Seth physically flinches away from him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Dean?" Seth says, just staring at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. Like he doesn't even recognise him anymore.

Dean laughs again, shaking his head. "I'm a fucking soulless lunatic, right?"

"You know I didn't mean that —"

"Yeah," Dean says, nodding, one eyebrow cocked. "You never do."

"I can't believe you're doing this to us — especially now —" 

" _Us_?" Dean says scornfully. "There's no us, Seth. There's no us since you decided to fuck off — You don't get to fucking stand there all self-righteous and talk about _Roman_ and say that shit to me — " 

"Okay, fine, it's my fault," Seth bursts out. "That what you wanna hear? It's my fucking fault. I've been blaming myself all week. I've been blaming myself for _years_. And maybe it didn't fix anything. Maybe I should've stayed gone."

"Then why the fuck are you still here?" Dean demands, voice low and even.

Seth sighs, long and heavy. "Because…because you're my best friend."

Dean just narrows his eyes at him, almost speechless now.

Seth just takes a step closer again, eyes locked on Dean's. "Dean, _please_ , don't let it end like this," he says pleadingly. "I'm sorry. For everything. Just talk to me. We can work it out."

"Stop trying to save me, Seth. It's not going to work," Dean tells him quietly, almost apologetically. "You should just go."

"Go where?" Seth asks mockingly. "Go back to what? Roman's not here, you're not here. I have three fucking titles in my locker room and they don't mean a damn thing to me. I can barely look at them anymore."

"Well, that's your problem now," Dean says impassively.

"I don't want you to be alone either," Seth tells him, and he sounds like he fucking means it, and that makes Dean want to hate him so bad.

"I've always been alone." 

"No, you haven't. You had us. You had me. Last week. I was _there_ , Dean. You could've fucking _said_ something. We could've just left, gone somewhere, forgotten about the fucking tag titles —"

"And what would you have done, huh?" Dean asks, like a dare.

"I don't know," Seth answers truthfully. "Whatever I could. Told you that I was there for you. Told you that we'd all be okay."

"What if we're _not_?" Dean says, grimacing.

Seth shrugs. "I'd still tell you the same thing. It's gonna be okay, Dean. I don't wanna fight you. Not anymore. Please don't make me."

Dean just stands there and doesn't move, looking at him. Seth reaches for Dean's hand after a second, and he doesn't pull away this time.

Seth kisses the knuckles on his right hand, the same knuckles that were pounding him into the mat a week ago, and it almost makes him sick. The soft look in his big, dark eyes makes him want to hit something, makes him want to hurt him again.

Instead, he takes a deep breath, closes his eyes for a second, before looking back up at him and murmuring, "I'm not okay."

Seth nods, gently squeezing his hand in his own. "I know. But I'm right here. We'll figure it out."

"You wanna, uh, get out of here?" he asks after a few long minutes of them just standing there together, Seth still holding his hand. "I can't be around any more people tonight —"

"Sure, yeah," Seth says at once. "Let me just go get my stuff."

Seth gets back before he can even let himself wonder if this is all just a big fucking mistake, if he should maybe just take off like he wanted to, floor it, roll the windows down, follow the open road wherever it leads, leave all of this behind him. Try to forget.

He hands him one of the red tag titles. Dean just blinks at him in surprise.

"It's yours. Just — take it, please."

Dean curls his fingers around the strap for the first time since he dropped it at his feet before blindsiding Seth a week ago. He could barely look at it before too, but it feels like he's floating out in the open ocean and there's nothing, and no one, to moor him back in to shore. He could use anything he can to hang on for a moment longer.

Except maybe there is. There's still a voice in his head telling him this isn't gonna last. Maybe it's right. But Seth's still standing there. 

_I'm fixed on you_ , he'd said. They're not over, they're probably never going to be over. Dean knows he's destroyed a lot of things in his life, but maybe this one thing is beyond destruction. No matter what they do. They fight and they hurt each other worse that anyone else ever can but after all this time, they're too tangled up in each other, veins and lungs and hearts and souls, that they're never gonna find their way out. 

So, maybe they'll talk and cry and he'll fall asleep with Seth curled around him tonight and maybe in the morning, he'll decide that he can't stand it anymore and he'll just take off and leave him there. But somehow he knows that wherever he goes, Seth's gonna find him and bring him back. Again and again. As many times as he has to.


End file.
